Guilt

I cheated. Don’t worry, my husband knows. He actually helped me ease the pain, he saw me, he saw me self-beating myself, he saw my guilt. He said he loved me anyway. 😂 Now seriously, you see, I’d committed to do this elimination diet. I was supposed to go a month without any of the anti-inflammatory foods, and I ate a banana which is one of the foods not allowed. I can hear the voices in my head saying reasons and excuses of why I did it. Some voices look for ways to avoid or remove my guilt, others highlight my lack of self control, my weakness. Overall the pointing finger proves that I'm wrong, flawed, less than... I hear the voices, but I’ve learned to be honest with myself. I know that the truth is, my body remembered and created a whole elaborate system of signals saying I had to have it. So I listened to my body, I acted on my urge. I had a choice, yes! This doesn’t make me flawed or wrong, it makes me present with myself, it makes me aware of my own body, it makes me human. I’m not excusing my behaviour, I’m embracing my complex wholeness, and remembering that I’m not perfect. How are you dealing with your guilt?